Link
by DemonBredChild
Summary: A boy with a forgotten past is flung into a world completely unlike his own, if only he could remember it. Follow 'Hero' as he struggles to fit in with society, while also trying to discover himself. CH3 up, warning, some sexual refrence.
1. The Hero

Hello Everyone! This is my attempt at combining the romantic comedy Ichigo 100 percent (The manga, which is better then the anime) with the action/adventure show DBZ, which also had its comedic moments. However, It'll be a lil different. There IS a plot, although it's going to be shrouded in the mist at first, what you think is the main plot will actually be the sub-plot. You're not going to get the main characters real name either, although it wouldn't matter because he's not really quite himself anymore. Many of the DBZ characters won't be making an appearance for a few chapters, but don't worry, it will come in due time. So, please read and enjoy. Also, the title of this story, "Link," has nothing to do with The Legend of Zelda.

Added Author note: I looked over the first version of this, and realized it was crap. This is a revised version. Please re-read it, I hope it's gotten better then last time.

**Disclaimer:** I'm only doing this once for the entire story! I do not own DBZ and Ichigo 100 percent.

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**Chapter I: The Hero**

There exists many tales of men. Tales of men who lived as heroes. Men who died as heroes. Tales of men who achieved strength and gained power beyond one's wildest dreams. Then there are tales of men who achieved neither of those. Men who became nothing. And then of course…there are the tales of men who became the opposite of their fellow heroes. Villians, monsters, evil beings and various other horrors born from darkness. Men that let their greed overtake them. Men that threw aside their morals. Men that could no longer be called 'men.' They were something worse. Something far worse.

However, this tale is of neither of those 3 men. For this is a tale of a single man, unlike all others, not because of his strength, not because of his power, not because his intellect. And most certainly not because of his heart. This man… was born as the kin of Heroes. As such, in the very depth of his soul, he is one himself. But he is also something else. A very rare occasion comes along, where a child is born with abilities that require him to _not_ take sides. A child that can not be either good nor evil.

In situations like these, a fourth party develops, one that is not 'neutral.' For those who are born with the aforementioned abilities must bear the flag of a side much more important than either good or evil, with a purpose just as great. In this side, one does not fight for what is good, they do not fight for what is evil, they fight for what simply _is_. They fight for stability. They fight for continuity. They fight, on most base grounds, for _existence_. The existence of everything. The preservation of the world. And at times, one would find themselves killing heroes as well, in order to preserve said world.

The term 'world' does not simply refer to Earth. Nor does it refer to the galaxy. The term 'world' refers to the universe as a whole. It is a time and space and energy, and it is also Existence as we know it.

The tale you are about to hear is about a man, a _hero…_ who has fallen into the category of those who fight for existence. A man who must choose between what is _Right_, and what _I_s. A man who must choose between his duty, and his heart. One can only hope they both point in the same direction, but as life is still itself, this is never the case.

* * *

The feeling of wind blowing against ones body isn't always pleasant. But sometimes, it was relaxing. He opened his eyes to see exactly how a wind this strong was possible in the climate he was in. Then again, what climate was he in anyway? There was no land under him…only water. A vast blanket of water. The sea! The sea was under him, and wind was pushing against him… from below him! And the sea seemed to be getting greater and greater as seconds flew by. With all the clues pointing in the same direction, he would have been an idiot not to realize he was falling. But was alright, at least the water would reduce his fall from '_life-threatening_,' to '_extremely-painful._' There was still one problem of course. 

He couldn't swim.

"HELP! HEL-" His voice was cut off by the water that was flung into his mouth and down his throat. It was no use, there was no sign of people in every direction, and he was already sinking… there was nothing he could do. This was the end…reality was fading away…a darkness unlike that of the depth of the sea began to cloud his vision, as water flowed down his nostrils. Little pockets of air escaped from his mouth…and soon…he would join nothingness too….

:-:-:-:-:

He coughed. He was alive…. Again he coughed; water spurted out of his mouth and nose like he was a fountain. He could breathe…his tongue felt the revolting taste of salt water. Slowly, he opened his eyes…the burn…the salt water burned his eyes. Though it had hurt him even more, he took the pain as a healthy reminder to the fact that he was alive. But…who was he? He didn't remember anything from before, when he was discovered by those people... but now was not the time to dwell on a past he didn't even understand. He opened his eyes once more, the burn having subsided. Hmmm…he was washed up on shore. It seemed luck was on his side today. But…where was he? This place didn't look familiar... then again, nothing looked familiar... damned amnesia…

He stood up, and examined himself in the reflection of the water. Interesting… a black cloak that covered him from his neck all the way down to his knees… and his pants, they were a dark blue color, much darker then navy blue, and above all, baggy. And upon his chest, he wore a shirt, slightly torn and worn out in some spots, with the same color and design as his pants. His shoes…were they even shoes? No, a mix between boots and shoes…they covered his feet completely and reached about an inch up his legs. They were also a deep black, but had a certain shine to them. Oddly enough, they were steel tipped. And then…there was his gloves… the kind your fingers poked out of. They were also worn from use.

"_Interesting…_" he thought. "_How odd of a character would I be to have such attire?_" pausing for a moment while looking at his reflection a while more, he came across his face, and stared down into the depth of his own eyes. His eyes were also black. Onyx, one might say…the iris and pupil mixed perfectly, one have much trouble distinguishing one from the other, but he could tell…he could tell easily. They were so focused, his eyes... so determined… and in this moment, he knew he was staring into his past, just by reading his own eyes. Then there was the rest of his face. A strong chin, sharp nose, not too sharp though. An acne free face as well. And…the most interesting hairstyle. It was black and spiky, but…why, it was flying around everywhere! What sort of hair was this? It was insane! It was simply impossible! It was….so totally cool! This gravity defying hairstyle had him entranced. He certainly must have been a peculiar person if he looked like this… But he had to admit…he did look quite handsome.

He admired himself for one last moment before turning his attention away from the water and down the shore. He assumed it to be a beach, considering its design, but that seemed unlikely, since there were absolutely no people here. "_Must be my luck again…_" he thought. There was a thought lingering in his mind though…that portal…no, he would ignore it. The last time he had thought of that…his mind went racing and he had lost control of himself… it must be avoided, he couldn't let that happen again.

"_First order of business… find a place to stay_." He looked around before his eyes caught a villa or inn at the side of the beach. But when he took a step towards it, he heard a clinking. Confused, he opened up his cloak to investigate the noise.

There was a sword attached to his belt… so…that must mean he was some sort of warrior? The blade looked like a katana…a samurai maybe? Who knew? Nothing was really certain at this point. Well, except for one thing… something he just realized.

"Aw fuck!.. .I'm broke…" He sighed. He couldn't get a place to stay without money, food probably isn't an option either… He'd need a way to make some cash. As he sat to think, his right hand fell upon a small pile of star-shaped leaves as his left was used to support himself. "_Cash!_" he thought "Cash! Cash! Cash! But how? I need money…" right as he said those last few words, he felt something tickle the palm of his right hand. He looked down at his hand to see a quick flash of light disperse. A bit of dust flew away from the pile of money that now lay on the floor…Money? MONEY! HOW? So many questions were racing through his mind… Where did the leaves go? What's this yen doing here? Was He responsible for this? What was that flash of light? Is this some sort of special abiltiy? But out of all of these, there was only one that rang true in his head.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" His voice shook for a moment as he stared in awestruck confusion at the money that lay next to him. "What…the hell?" Slowly, he reached over and grabbed the money. Still in some shock, he counted the money… 7000 yen…that wasn't bad for now. He put the money into his pocket, trying to forget this moment. Damn….he really WAS a weirdo…

"_Now to get to that villa…_" he thought. "_But first, a quick gear check!_" He moved his legs… "_Legs, operational…_" His arms "_Yep, those are working too. I'll check the rest in detail later. Now for a little test…_" He bent his legs down, preparing for a jump…when he released though….he was soaring through the sky! Higher and higher he went! Up and up, until the villa he was staring at had become a speck of dust. And then…down and down he came, constantly gaining speed. It looked like this was the REAL end!

"_Idiot!_ You don't even know who you are yet, and you're about to _DIE_!" He yelled to himself in horrified panic. And then…

He landed as gently as bird.

"…Huh?" He looked himself over…completely unharmed… "..I … I… oh fuck." An odd feeling overcame him as he bent his body down and vomited on the beach. The fear he felt must have caused him to throw up.

"Ugh… whoever's responsible for all of this has a sick and twisted sense of humor."

He looked at the villa once more. With much less strength, he took a weak 'hop' in its direction, and gracefully landed on a ledge on the rocky edge of the beach. Up and up he climbed, nearing his destination.

"_You know…_" he thought, "_This isn't so bad once you get used to it. At least getting around isn't going to be a problem..._"

:-:-:-:-:

17 year old Manaka Junpei was in his room that day. He and the rest of his high school friends from the "Film Studies" club had been staying at one of the Amachi family's villas in order to film their 3rd, and possibly last, movie together. They were almost done as well. After all, there was only one scene left. Although it was probably the most difficult scene of them all… the confession. The scene would be performed by a girl and a boy, said boy being Manaka. The girl that would be doing confession was someone that he had feelings for…and if she wasn't too embarrassed to do it… he wasn't sure if he could accept as acting…or as the real deal. Junpei sighed while rubbing the back of his head. His dark hair, too messy to be contained, swooshed around it's spikes around as Manaka turned over in his bed to try and get some sleep.

Just as he was about to fall asleep, a sound was caught by his ears. "That sounded like the door at the main entrance… nothing in this house creaks _that_ loudly." Without a moment's hesitation, Junpei got up off his bead and slid his room door open, carefully creeping down the halls. Just as he began to climb the stairs, his eyes caught site of the open door. "_Who would be awake at this hour?_" the thought continued to ring in his mind as he grew more anxious on his path down the staircase.

As he neared the first story, he couldn't help but find his breathe caught in his throat.

There it was! A figure in the doorway! His shadow could easily be made out on the floor of the main entrance area. The figure seemed to be taking slow steps in, and Manaka found himself frozen at first. He had to go warn the others! In a situation like this, he should have gone to work right away… but no matter how many alarms seemed to go off in his mind, he had the strangest feeling that everything was alright. The figure stopped. It was impossible to see in the dark, but Junpei could tell by it's form that it was looking around.

"Hmm…this doesn't look like an inn… or a public villa …no wonder there's no clerk. But this is the only place nearby, where else am I going to stay?... Ah, fuck, I'm talking to myself again…" it had a male voice… oddly enough, the figure seemed to sigh in frustration afterwards. "I really need to get out more…"

"Um… uh… e-excuse me? Is there s-something I can help you with?" Even though it seemed that this man wasn't interested in doing causing him any harm, Manaka didn't feel like taking any chances. He'd risk his ass some other day, when the sun was up and he would be carrying a bazooka.

"Eh? There's someone here after all… Um, listen, I uh… I need a place to stay. I'm not really familiar with this part of ..um.. this part of _town_… too well and I haven't seen any other places nearby…so I, uh… I hope you don't mind if crashed here for a while." He wasn't sure in the darkness, but it almost seemed like the figure was scratching his head.

"Um… well, I don't know…(_Amachi wouldn't be happy…_)"

_…_

_…  
_

"_Wait, that's it!"  
_

Amachi had been a sort of a nemesis to him anyway, and at least in this way, he could irritate the arrogant jerk a bit further!_  
_  
"You know what? I think we just might be able to make some accommodations for you…" It was impossible to see it in the darkness, but the evil grin on Junpei's face could have easily been a mile wide.

Upon hearing those words, he couldn't help but smile. "Really? Uh.. How much do I have to pay?"

"Pay? Oh, don't worry about it, you don't have to pay for anything!" It seemed to be pitch black, but for some reason, his eyes were capable of seeing very well in the dark…and he could have sworn that kid was smiling.

"S-Seriously? Yes! Sweet! Awesome!" He was jumping for joy. He stopped in his joy and turned his head to the person on the stairs. "Oh, I don't think I caught your name."

"Manaka. Manaka Junpei. And yours?"

"Uh, about that… I'm afraid I don't have one"

"What? What do you mean you don't have one?"

"Er, yeah…well, to put it simply, I can't remember who I am…" He scratched the back of his head once more.

"Oh, I see. Well, maybe we can get you a name later… for now, just sleep here on the couch…er, can you see it?"

"Yeah, I can see it just fine" He made his way towards the couch and lied down on it, instantly feeling sleepier by the second. "Thanks for letting me crash here, Manaka. G'night!"

"Yeah, Goodnigh-" Manaka found himself interrupted by a quiet but unmistakable snore "Heh, looks like he really was worn out… I should get to bed too." And with that note, Junpei returned to his room to go over the day's (and nights) events whilst trying to fall asleep. That night, his dreams were filled with many weapons of mass destruction, various torture devices and an insanely distressed Amachi, and he could not help but allow a sinister smile in his sleep.

:-:-:-:-:

It was an odd feeling, you know. Waking up. Since it was the first time he could remember that he actually awoke from sleep, it felt odd, yet familiar in it's own way. This odd feeling tugged at existence, constantly poking at his consciousness, urging him to get up. Then there was that smell…such an alluring scent. It almost smelled…feminine? Slowly opening his eyes, he found himself literally face to face with a girl. In the short moment before he could react, he thought that she was quite cute, though it didn't effect him. However, once those thoughts had finished running their course, the after effects were…

"UuWwaA!"

…Not too good. They had both screamed in surprise as he backed further and further away into the couch and she took a few steps back herself. He took another short moment in the duo's current stupor to take a better look at the girl. She had short black hair, going down to about her neck line, and it curved around her face, being held up in the front by a hair pin. Her eyes were a dark sea-green, and she was dressed in casual clothing. The girl had a certain air about her, one of an independent woman. But at the moment, her nervousness was in plain view. He guessed that this was probably his fault, and it was only natural that he should try and fix things.

"Uh… Hi!" He flashed a grin to her, silly, carefree, but incredibly enticing, a grin that could easily melt away anger and make anyone else around want to smile as well.

"H-hi…" the nervousness he had previously seen in this girl was beginning to flutter away, and though she wasn't exactly grinning, a slight smile let him know that she was, more or less, comfortable with his presence.

"Who are you?" He asked. The girl paused a bit before answering.

"Sotomura Misuzu. I'm staying here at this villa with my friends. What about you? Who are you? How'd you get here? And just what the hell are you doing in this villa?" the boy flinched momentarily.

"_Sheesh, this girl bites!"_ he thought to himself. "I, uh…-"

"He doesn't have a name" The boy from yesterday was back. Manaka had already made his way down the staircase and was at Misuzu's side.

"Manaka! Who is this guy? Did you have anything to do with this?"

"I did…" and then he grinned and motion for her to come closer. With a little hesitation, she went over to him. Whispering into her ear, he spoke "I woke in the middle of the night to find this guy in our doorway. He was looking for a place to stay, and there were no other places nearby. I thought he should stay here. Besides, I really wanna see how Amachi takes this. I hope our friend causes him hell." And with that, he giggled a bit before looking listening to Misuzu's response.

"Wah? So you're doing all of this to make Amachi go nuts, huh?" he nodded "But you still haven't told me who this guy is…"

"Oh right... about that. You see… he has amnesia. He doesn't know who he is, where he is, how he got here, or even his name. So…let's let him stay, ok?"

"Hmm…well, I'm not sure about this, but…if it'll poke at Amachi's sanity, I suppose he can stay. But he'll need a name." Manaka nodded.

"Yeah, he can't go on being nameless while he's here."

"Um, hello? Are you guys done?" Before either of the two classmates could respond, a yelp of surprise came from the catwalk above.

"Wh-who the hell is HE?" A brunette girl with an unusually larger-then-average bust was leaning far over the edge of the catwalk.

"Satsuki! Careful, you're leaning too far over the edge!" But Manaka was too late, the girl had already fallen over. Before another soul could react, the stranger had kicked himself off the couch and ran towards Satsuki's shadow, where a graceful jump and a well timed catch finished off his performance.

"Phew, I was afraid I might not have made it. Are you alright, miss?" The girl seemed a bit dazed, as did her reaction.

"Wha? Oh, yea…Kitaooji Satsuki…Age 17..how do you do?" the poor girl was still in a dazed stupor.

"Eh? Oh, er…Nameless, age unknown. Fine, thank you! How 'bout you?" He chuckled and flashed his goofy grin and the girl seemed instantly cured.

"Hey…why does it seem like I'm floating?..." Satsuki's voice had a hint of confusion in it.

"Ah! Sorry Kitaooji-san! I forgot I was carrying you, ehehe…" He quickly returned the girl to her feet and apologized over and over again for his mistake.

Meanwhile, Manaka had been watching the stranger very closely…

"_That guy…when he ran after Satsuki…something in his eyes… I saw something there in them that I didn't notice before. I've seen that look somewhere before… I've seen it in movies before. It was always the look you'd see whenever the main character was in trouble. Usually, the protagonist turned out to be a hero. I've always seen that look in the eyes of heroes before, and have grown accustomed to calling them 'The eyes of a Hero.' So that's it, huh? He's a hero. Yeah… I bet he'd look good on film too. In fact…" _

"He's…he's perfect" the words came out as something just above a whisper, yet Misuzu had heard it still and taken it in the wrong way.

"Is that so? Wow, I thought you to be gay many times, Manaka, but I didn't know I was right all along. So this is why you never picked any of those girls! And the rest of your ac-"

"Stop that! That's not what I meant! What I meant to say was…well, just look at him for a sec! Look at his eyes for a sec. Don't you see it? Don't you see what's there? That determination! That confident air! That self-righteous appearance, those concerned but ever-observant eyes! Can't you see it? He's like…"

"…a hero from the movies. Interesting." Thank the god's that she was as much a moviegoer as Manaka was, or else she might have never noticed it.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So… what about it? What are we supposed to do, call him a Hero?"

"Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with it."

"I see… Alright, I suppose it couldn't hurt. I just hope he doesn't have a huge ego…"

"Great, let's call him over." Manaka turned around and looked towards the soon-to-be-named Hero's direction "Hey you! We decided on what to call you!" Manaka caught Hero's attention.

"Hmm? Well, what is it?"

"How does _Hero_ sound?" Hero raised an eyebrow.

"…"

"Well?"

"…What, are you kidding me? First off, I don't even deserve that sort of name! And for crying out loud, what the hell am I supposed to act in public with a name like that? They'd probably take me for some arrogant, egotistical ass that couldn't think of a better way of making himself look good!" Misuzu, however, stepped forward to defend the suggestion.

"Honestly, how can you say that knowing what you just did? You saved the girl from certain death! And look at your eyes, damn it, look at them!" She pointed towards a mirror wall opposite of the staircase.

"_Strange, I never saw this here before…_" Hero casually walked over to the mirror, keeping his eyes focused on themselves. Just as Misuzu had said, in his own eyes, he could see something. And he had felt it to, when he ran after that girl, Satsuki. In his eyes, thought they were pitch black, one could see the gleam of a blazing fire, the representation of a hero's undying flame. "_Damn…she was right…but this only adds to the list of weird things about me._" He sighed.

"Ok, you got me. But are you sure my name should be 'Hero'? You're going to be calling me that for as long as you know."

"Well I don't see a thing wrong with it" Manaka voiced in "You seem deserving of the name."

"Yeah, and even if you aren't, I'm sure you'll prove yourself to be in due time" this time, it was Misuzu.

"Well, if Manaka's for it, then so am I!" Satsuki decided to voice in her opinion, with a grin of course.

Taking a look around him, Hero took in the surrounding scene, a bit embarrassed at first. He sighed "Well, if you guys are sure, then I guess it's settled. I still don't know who I am, but… from this point on, I suppose you can call me Hero." His new friends had gathered around him to chat a bit before the others would wake up, and decide how they were going to introduce him. However, just as the warm welcome was starting to get really good, a loud tyrannical roar erupted in the living room. All heads turned towards the bottom of the staircase.

"WHO THE HELL IS _THAT_?" A tall, red headed man stood in the living room, his hair slightly spiked in all directions in a more controlled fashion. Manaka grinned at the man with an evil glint in his eyes and stepped forward a bit to wave towards the distressed newcomer.

"Hey, Amachi! Say hello to our new guest, Hero!" and thus, the chaos would soon begin…

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There we go. Chapter 1, slightly re-done. I hope you like it, or like it better if you've read the first version. 


	2. Cookin' with Hero

Oi, I'm finally done! Well, not much to say here except that this chappie took a long time(mostly cuz of char descriptions, which are incredibly boring to write) and that Chapter 1 has been redone if you haven't already read it. Anyway, Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I'm only doing this once for the entire story! I do not own DBZ and Ichigo 100 percent.

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**Chapter II: Cooking with Hero**

It's funny, you know. How an idiot acts when he's provoked. Distressed. Irrational. Idiotic, but that's a given. It could almost be compared to the habits of a hippopotamus during mating season.

"Ma-m-Manaka! What's this guy doing here! AHH! GET AWAY FROM THAT GIRL, YOU BEAST!" The one whom had been called Amachi, was currently charging towards Hero, whom had just realized that Amachi was referring to him and Satsuki. It was too late to stop him though, so he did the only thing he could do.

He stepped aside.

Now, this had always been the smart thing to do. I mean, for as long as he could remember, which was actually less then a day's worth of memory, it was never smart to get into fights, and better to avoid them. And he did. Though, he probably should have accounted for what was behind him, because it seemed that Amachi didn't really like the painting that had been fitted around his neck to be a very appealing fashion accessory.

"Manaka…" Amachi's voice was deathly quiet. Veins seemed to be popping up all over the man. It was like he had chicken pocks, and they were all playing connect the dots with each other! "Get this man…THE HELL OUTTA MY VILLA!"

"NO!" One would have expected this to come from Manaka himself, but oddly enough, it was Misuzu who spoke.

"Huh? Misuzu-san? Why are you defending him? DID YOU SEE WHAT HE MADE ME DO?"

"SHUTUP, YOU DAMNED IDIOT! Close that oversized manhole you call a mouth for one measly second and listen to us! This man has amnesia, and he even doesn't have a place to stay. There are no inns, hotels or any other kind of residential building nearby, and even if there were, he can't support himself, he's broke! Are you the kind of heartless creature that would kick him out? JUST LIKE THAT?" Misuzu Sotomura, still confident in her ability to not only hurt, but repeatedly stab at a man's ego, stood ever vigilant in front of the red-headed idio—er… I mean 'individual'…

Amachi stood there like a useless mass of dung, with no apparent emotion, or rather, in too much shock to show any other emotion. It took the sound of the painting he wore on his neck snapping in half to wake him from his dazed state.

"I…uh…Still, you should have informed me about this! I would have made the…er… appropriate accommodations!" It was rather pointless for him to be speaking though, because whilst Amachi's small mind struggled with words too large for him to comprehend, the group had already begun moving in the direction of the kitchen.

A loud rumbling noise shook the villa as Hero held onto his stomach. "Urk!... eh..hehe, guess I'm hungry, huh?" "_Note to self: Embarrassing yourself in front of your new friends is not a good way to make a first impression…_"

A few quiet chuckles were exchanged before beginning the group's apparent search for food. Rummaging through the refrigerator and all the shelves and drawers in the kitchen was not as easy a task as it seemed. The villa had been built to support many, _many_ people, as had the kitchen. Manaka silently cursed Amachi under his breathe. "_Even indirectly, you just gotta make everything hard for us, don't you Amachi?..._"

"Eh… I was just wondering out of curiosity, but… does anyone here know how to cook?" 3 guys, 2 girls, one of them is bound to know how to cook, right? Wrong. Awkward silences never meant a good thing. Hero sighed.

"Relax, we'll just wing it!" Sastuki's energetic attitude showed no sign of fading; it looked as though cooking would be a breeze. However, Manaka's expression said otherwise.

Pulling Hero in close, he whispered to him "Whatever you do, don't let that girl cook! I'd hate to say this, but you'll be wishing you were dead if you try out her cooking! You hear me? DEAD!"

Hero frowned "Eh, sounds bad…" sighing in frustration yet again, he looked at Satsuki with a nervous smile "Uh… Kitaooji-san, perhaps **I** should cook for us today. Think of it as… my repayment you for being allowed to stay her."

And then he smiled.

Such a grin was a rare thing to come by. It could light up a room in a matter of seconds, eliminate any trace of anger in a person, wipe away any doubt in one's heart, and bring about joy to all that would come across it. Such a smile is the envy of men and women alike, yet a blessing to bear witness to. It was such a grin that Hero could provide, and because of this, none would argue. Or maybe it was because they'd all get a free meal… either way, both were good enough reasons.

**_

* * *

_**

The tools had all been brought out and stacked upon an island table in the middle of the kitchen. Hero was also set in the middle of the room, an apron equipped of course. '_Alrighty then, here goes…_' As Hero reached for the knife, he began to feel a bit… nervous. Just as his hand gripped the handle, the feeling in his hand vanished. Then his arm. Both arms! His entire body had gone numb. Dropping the knife, he fell to the ground, beginning to lose consciousness. As the world faded away… a dream seemed to come to life…

'_Whoa…what the? What's this?...'_ A flash of images played over and over in his head! Unimaginable pain ran free through his body, parts of his body were rapidly gaining and losing activity. His body had gone berserk! And then, there came the image of…

"_A woman…_" this image…it was more like a video. The lady he was watching was moving her arms up and down, as if she were chopping something. She stopped suddenly, and turned around to face Hero. '_Eh? She can…see me?_' She paused for a moment, then smiled in Hero's direction.

"_Yes, sweetie? What's a matter?_" This woman…was she talking to him? Strange… Come to think of it, she had the same black hair Hero did, and while it wasn't exactly the same in style, it certainly was the same color. Besides, this woman looked familiar… perhaps… it was his mother?

"_I…Mom, can you teach me how to cook?_" Another voice spoke, but it's owner could not be seen. It almost felt as if it had come from Hero himself. But it's pitch was too high for it to be Hero's. If this was a memory… then he must have been very young. So that's why…

The woman, his _mother_, chuckled for a moment before responding "_Sure dear, I'll teach you how to cook! But you have to promise to help cook for you and your brother from now on, ok?_"

"'_Kay!_" What an eager sounding child. Was that really how he sounded? Shock was running through Hero. Ah, but in a few moments, his body was about to give the word 'shock' a brand new meaning…

Back in the real world, those that were still conscious were tending to Hero's body. They had laid him down on the couch in the living room. His body seemed to be going berserk, he was twitching in a hundred different places at once. Yet a final shock was sent through his system before he was finally put to rest…

"**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"**

Ah, but everything had its cost. And putting Hero to rest cost the sleep of all the other napping guests. Ah, but how convenient it was for him to wake up a moment after that horrendous howl had erupted from his mouth.

"Oi….Hero-san, are you alive?" Manaka, though seemingly too busy trying to tackle a headache, had taken on the task of tending to Hero.

"Huh?...oh, yeah…yeah I am. Wait a sec…" he sat up on the couch and pondered for a moment. That woman…was his mother. And… he knew how to cook? Ah, but he did! It was extremely strange, he could remember all the steps for whatever it was that he required the cooking of. Whoever his mother was, she must have been an incredible chef. And the feeling! The feeling of knowledge… it was incredible! It was like a sugar-rush/sugar-high hybrid! He couldn't believe the fee—

"Hero? Zoning out again? What's wrong with you today?" Misuzu shouldn't have been so close to him because…

"GUYS! **I KNOW HOW TO COOK!**" This line was said with such force and vigor that it had blown the poor girl away and toppled her upon her other 3 friends. "Uh, woops? Ehehe…" He looked around the room. Everyone had their hands over their ears, some even curled up on the floor. "I should try to not do that…"

Not even looking at him, Misuzu stood up on her feet and silently stalked away upstairs. Soon the others followed, Manaka stopping once in front of Hero to tell him to call them back, _quietly_, when breakfast was ready. As soon as they were all gone, Hero sighed. "So much for a good first impression…"

Striding into the kitchen, he got to work quickly. Washing his hands, getting the food out of the fridge, dicing up veggies and bread, readying eggs that would be fried, and pans to fry them in. 'Round and around he went, flying across the kitchen, dashing from tile to tile, it was the dance of a chef in his greatest moment. Pancakes we readied, waffles as well, oranges were fresh squeezed, the pulp removed for comfort's sake. Various fruits were also brought out. Onward went the waltz, until at long last, the meal that would empty the Amachi families food reserves was completed. All in all, breakfast would be a feast, a rather large feast, Hero noted. Maybe… _too_ large. Nah, he had a feeling this was just right. He didn't know why, but 103 plates worth of food seemed like a decently sized meal. He hoped it wasn't too little, the other guests might not get some…

**_

* * *

_**

"Breakfast is served!" Hero yelled, but _not_ at the top of his lungs(Thank god). As the highschoolers piled up into the room, they stood in awe at the huge feast. The food smelled wonderful, and they would soon find out that it tasted the same as well, but the ridiculously large quantity of food was what really stunned them.

A boy with hair that covered the top half of his face spoke first "Uh… is there a reason lunch and dinner were made early today?"

Manaka was the next to speak "Yeah, Hero. What's the meaning of this?"

"Um, I thought there wouldn't be enough…I mean, I just had this gut feeling we needed a lot."

"A 'lot,' I can understand. A 'ton' is a bit overboard though, don't you think?"

"Don't worry about it, we'll get through this stuff easily, you'll see." Hero noticed an increase in new faces in the room. "Oh, uhh… Hi there… I don't think we've all met."

"Ah, that's right! We haven't introduced you all to Hero!" Junpei to the rescue! sorta… Manaka stepped in between the group and Hero to try and sort out the situation "This guy here…" He pointed his thumb towards Hero "is Hero. Or he is now, anyway. He showed up last night, had amnesia, didn't know anything period, not even a name. He didn't have any cash or a place to stay either, so I let him crash here for the night. This morning, Kitaoji-san nearly fell down the side of the stairs. Hero caught her in the air before she anything could actually happen. This, and a few other things, being the reason me and Misuzu-san decided to call him Hero. As a token of gratitude for letting him stay here, Hero agreed to make breakfast for us." _and at this rate, lunch and dinner too…_ he added as an after-thought. "Alright, now that we've got that part down, is there anything I missed? Questions, anyone?"

"Uh, yeah, I got one." A boy that looked to be about 18 stepped forward. With his huge round lips, smaller-than-average, round-shaped eye sockets, and short eyebrows, he looked more like an octopus than a man. Perhaps the only feature present on his head that made him look human, rather then an inhabitant of the sea, was his blonde spiky hair, which, Hero noticed, all pointed upward, like a flame. It nearly reminded him of someone he may have known.

"What is it Komiyama?"

"What's with the get-up?" He was referring to Hero's attire.

"Um…yeah, about that…What _is_ with the get-up, Hero?"

"_Uh-oh. Now what? Playing the Amnesia card didn't look so good right now, continuously saying that you don't remember would annoy them and cause suspicion, you're gonna have to feed them some answers, even if it means you have to make them up! Think Hero, think! Perhaps… perhaps if I act like I didn't remember what it was about, but I had a feeling I did, and then I could give them some explanation or whatever to keep them satisfied, at least until I figure out the truth. Ugh, the day just kept getting worse and worse. He swore upon his soul that he would rip the balls off the bastard that made him con his new friends and feed them these lies."_

"To tell you the truth, uh… I don't really know myself, but I have been thinking about it…"

Misuzu stepped up to bat "And…?"

"From what I can tell, it looks like I'm sort of…uh… this gonna sound strange, but I think I might be some kind of modern samurai."

Silence. That obviously wasn't a good sign. _"Oh, this isn't good! This definitely isn't good! There shouldn't be an eerie silence, I can't handle eerie silences! Ohcrap-ohcrap-ohcrap- ohcrap- ohcrap- ohcrap- ohcrap! What do I do? What do I do? Damn it, I'm making myself look like a fool again! Where's a can of tear gas when you need it?"_

As if the situation hadn't shattered Hero's mental state enough already, Amachi decided to make a stand.

"Samurai? A _modern day _**samurai**? You're kidding us, right? How can you expect us to believe THAT? I told you Manaka! This guy has been playing us from the start! Honestly, how the hell do you back up calling yourself a samurai? Actually, that's a good idea. You got any evidence to support your claim, _Hero? _Oo, I got an idea! Pull a sword out of your ass, why don'cha? Just like all the other bullshit you've been dragging out of there!" Good God, who knew Amachi had the mental capacity to use words like that?

"_Thanks to that stupid red-headed rich boy, I'm in more trouble than I was before… Think Hero, think! Where are you gonna get solid evidence from? _He'd hate to say it, but in this current desperate situation, he wished he really COULD pull a sword out of his ass. _Wait a sec… That's it! His sword! He would have to sacrifice some privacy by showing it to them, and it might also cause him to look a little dangerous… but desperate times call for desperate measures."_

"Actually, about that sword…" Pulling his semi-cloak back, he revealed a sheathed sword strapped to his belt. "This is the main reason I thought I was a samurai. Not many people normally walk around carrying a katana…"

"I… uh…" Amachi's offense was ripped to pieces. There was no point in poking and prodding now, he would get nowhere.

"_Haha! A modern day samurai! Oh god, this mental laughter is causing a headache. In any case, they took the bait so now, that idiot doesn't have much offense against me. I'll be in the clear for some time, so I better get started on figuring out who I am. A psychiatrist seems like a good idea…"_

"Ahem," enough was enough, Misuzu decided to put an end to the Q&A and get started on breakfast "I think that's enough of that. _Let's Eat_!"

_Ah, screw it._

And Hero was off. Like a vacuum on crack, he inhaled food rather then swallowing it. Whadd'ya know? He was right, they DID need allot of chow today.

**_

* * *

_**

Boy, was he stuffed!

It was his very first breakfast in as long as he could remember. The first time he _cooked_ in as long as he could remember. Few things came close to heaven on earth and Hero had to admit, that meal was pretty damn close. If only he had made more… The others seemed very content as well. A few praises from the group confirmed his speculations.

While were on the subject of 'the group,' Hero had made sure to keep an eye on everyone, get to learn their names, and learn their personalities to a certain level. The following is what he gathered from the short time he spent with them.

First came those he already knew:

(A/N Just a little reminder: In Japan, last name comes first, and for comfort's sake, the people will be listed.)

Manaka, Junpei

Age 17

Your typical 3rd year high school student with a not-so-typical lifestyle. Surrounded by beautiful women, He's just another average guy with more than enough luck to spare. Good hearted, un-intentionally perverted, obsessed with films and filming, and a bit of hero when he needs to be, the Director of the Film Studies club was a pretty cool guy, ignoring the perverted part of course.

Sotomura, Misuzu

Age 16

With the tongue of a viper, and vast vocabulary to boot, this girl could chew off any guys head with ease. But of course, if you manage stay on her good side, she makes a good friend. An intelligent and clever girl who's also into filming, but doesn't seem to get along with Manaka, this 2nd year can certainly make anyone's life interesting with the right company.

Kitaoji, Satsuki

Age 17

The hot and aggressive girl in the crowd, Satsuki isn't afraid to do just about anything. From what he could tell, Hero assumed that she has a think for Manaka. Although she's got a big chest and seems to only have average intelligence, there's a lot more depth to Satsuki then one would think. In fact, Hero was still exploring her, trying to understand how exactly her head ticked.

Amachi (first name unknown)

Age 17

Tall, handsome, rich. Just another prince charming with a grudge against Manaka and his luck. His reason for the grudge, it seemed, was because of a girl named Toujo, Aya. A girl that he fell in love with, a girl that seems to like Manaka. Although Amachi isn't really a bad guy, he has no actual barring over the situation, assumes the worst out of everything concerning Manaka, Junpei, AND he has a horrible way of presenting himself amongst the group. Rich boy, prince charming, and ladies' man seem to be the only things he's good at. While he is smarter then most guys, and much more athletic as well, he has a horrible social life. None of the people he hangs out with are really his 'friends.' In fact, it would be safe to say that none of the people around were friends at all. Yep, whenever trying to understand Amachi's actions, it could all be traced down back to Aya.

And now, for the new people:

Toujo, Aya

Age 17

A quiet girl, whom proved herself to be very smart in the conversations they had during breakfast. With her shoulder length flowing black hair, and unfathomable beauty, she could be mistaken for an idol. She was beautiful, and seemed innocent and good hearted enough to Hero, but many little quirks and oddities revolved around this girl, which puzzled Hero. Being the object of Amachi's affections, Manaka's constantly self-denied affections, Kitaoji's rivalry, and Hiroshi Sotomura's and Rikiya Komiyama's perverting, plus some other social forces around her, it seemed that the depth of her thoughts reached even further below those of Kitaoji's. In any case, hero would keep his eye on her, believing that she would prove to be quite interesting.

Sotomura, Hiroshi

Age 17

Oh, now _this guy_ was a total _character_. Hero was more then easily amused by his antics. Long, poofy, black hair that covered his eyes but left his mouth and nose untouched, and a mouth and tongue that made him look remarkably like a drooling dog, to Hero's amusement. This was especially so if you considered the fact that his mouth was just about always open and smiling in some fashion or another, his tongue hanging out of course. One would wonder if Sotomura ever worried about flies getting caught in there… all these things, combined with the fact that he was a pervert, who seemed to always pranced around with his other perverted friend, Komiyama, meant that Hero wouldn't be getting bored anytime soon. Putting the aforementioned aside, he seemed to be a decent person. Very intelligent as well, he could probably compete with Aya herself.

Komiyama, Rikiya

Age 17

Big, tall, octopus-like young man and co-pervert to Hiroshi. He was the one who had previously questioned his appearance. His blonde hair spiked upward and out, though that seemed to be the only redeeming quality of his looks, because the rest of his face was, to put it quite bluntly, ugly. It wasn't hideously ugly, however. Komiyama simply had less then average looks, but they were tolerable, and also quite comical. If not an octopus, he could be a clown. All he needed was a round red nose, and voila! And quite surprisingly, it seemed he had a girlfriend, one of two out of the few men in the room _ever_ to _have_ a girlfriend.

Mukai, Kozue

Age 17

A very, VERY over-imaginative, and unintentionally perverted girl. Her mannerisms at the table gave away her crush on Manaka, as well as her discomfort around men. She had black hair, untidy and flying out in all directions in a spiky manner. Currently, it was tied up in a pony tail. Hero tried his hardest not to laugh as it seemed that Hiroshi particularly enjoyed ogling at Kozue a bit more then the other girls. Apparently, she also seemed to be the newest member in the group, as she hardly spoke with anyone, even the girls.

Minamoto, Yui

Age 15

For some odd reason, this teenage girl sat next to Manaka, referring to him using his first name. Obviously they're close, but not in any intimate fashion…well, he couldn't tell really. They acted like brother and sister, but Hero was sure they definitely weren't related. In any case… Yui was rather short for her age, and she looked like a little child. Her raven hair was cut short right above her shoulders, and if it weren't for its slight poof, it may have looked a bit like a shorter version of Aya's hair.

Hashimoto, Chinami

Age 15

The cute little girl in the group, or at least that's what she tries to be. Chinami is the kind of girl that could steal the heart of any man, and squeeze the juices out of it till it's dry n' all used up. Yes, she definitely had the air of a greedy little girl, but the fact that she is Komiyama's girlfriend shows that she has some depth to her, rather then being another shallow girl. Her red hair, which was tied back into 2 pony tails, gives her a sort of radiance.

(A/N: I hope to whatever higher being exists that I never have to do one of those again…)

The breakfast had finally come to a calm, going on far longer then was expected. An hour of feasting was a sure pleasure that all the Film Studies members would remember from their trip. Even if it was filled some rather… _odd_ noises coming from Hero and the built in vacuum-on-steroids he called a mouth. Oh yes, ignoring the constant munching and chewing and the odd ripping noise that were made when Hero bit off a part of a waffle was not an easy feat. Sometimes he didn't even bother with biting, and stuffed the whole thing down his throat. Honestly, sitting next to a guy that breathed food was not a comforting thought, let alone knowing he _lived_ with you. Many pigs would be put to shame by this man; many, _MANY_ pigs. What a relief it was that the burden of supporting the food sucking god lay on the shoulders of the rich Amachi.

Everyone had already vacated the dining room after their meal, some giving Hero a warm thank you as they left. Only a few people were left in the room with him, those being Toujo, Manaka, Misuzu, and Amachi.

Toujo and Misuzu had fled to a corner to engage in their notorious girl talk, something Manaka and Hero gladly shied away from, Amachi doing so a bit more forcefully, knowing that he would never be able to understand the complexities of 'girl talk,' turning around every few minutes anyway to reach out longingly at his beloved Aya. Good thing her back was to him.

And in other news…

"So, Amachi… you wanted to say something to Hero?"

"Hm? Ah, yes. Well…this is rather hard for me to say but… I misjudged you…your cooking …" he mumbled something that neither of the young men could hear, Hero barely catching something about gods and spatulas.

"What was that Amachi? I'm afraid I didn't get that last part." Hero was curious to hear what his immensely loathed companion had to say about him and his cooking.

"Your cooking… you… God with a spatula…could have been… died happy…" More incoherent mumbling on Amachi's part led to an extremely odd statement..

"… You know… I might be able to understand what my cooking and a _God_ armed with a _spatula_ had to do with each other if you would just _speak up_." Hero raised his eyebrow, sudden feeling a familiar muscle that he may have used quite often in the past.

Amachi paused before continuing, as the sort of thing he was soon to say would be extremely difficult on his part. "Your cooking has proved that as a chef, you are a god with a spatula, and if the food I were to eat could have been poisoned, I would have most assuredly died happy." Manaka grinned immensely at the last part of Amachi's compliment.

"That could be arranged…" Manaka's mischievous grin twisted into a sadistic look, a devilish gleam sparkling in his eyes.

"…Get out of my kitchen."

* * *

. 

Well, that was a rush! Chapter 3 is going to be up soon. Not much to say here, since I haven't really gotten any reviews… ( But that's alright, I'll just remain optimistic!...Although fueling me with reviews WILL speed up the writing process… meh. Anyway, a little bit of news in store for the next chapter, we're adding another universe to the set in this crossover fic, and some of you may end up seeing some familiar faces, not from the DBZ world though.(sorry!) Next Chapter, Avid PC Gamers might see something they like…

Anyway, till next time!


	3. Life Goes On and On

Hey again, everyone. Sorry for the late update, no one really reviews, so I felt rather discouraged. After reading some of my older work, I realized something. My humor is at its best when it's backed up with narrative support. As such, I'll try to up the funny while still tagging along with the plot. No, I didn't just decide to crunch up a bunch of different universes just for the hell of it, there IS a plot. In fact, you'll be seeing some of it in this installment of Link.

Also: Adding another universe into the fray. Watch out for Half-life and Half-life 2 related things.

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**Chapter III : Life Goes On and On**

The Universe.

How did it come to exist? What was the cause? The purpose? Will it ever end? These are questions that many, many people have asked. Scientists, Philosophers, Poets, Teachers and Students alike. Anyone who's anyone has always questioned existence.

But there once was a race that had stopped their questioning. A philosophical race, wise and mystical in its own right. It was because of this race alone, that the balance of the universe continues to exist, that the end is _not_ near, and that there _are_ Gods who understand mortals, only because they _are_ mortals.

Please, allow me to elucidate.

In a time when our world was not our own, there lived a race that, never having named themselves, was given the title of The Ancients. The Ancients were a race of wise, peaceful people, not encouraging violence, but ready for it nonetheless. Philosophers were abundant in their populations. Their entire society was based on the worship of the Gods of Light. This religion had been around far before any time period that their race could remember. It was during this time, that a man named Li'nau had come to be. You see, there was something special about this man.

He was an accident.

He was born as a normal Ancient child, and he grew up like a normal Ancient citizen. However, there came a time in his mid 50's, which was the Ancient equivalent of a human's 30's, when a siege was laid upon his home. The Ancient Capital, Ai Shi'lau, had been ravaged by a force of complete darkness. A horde of pitch black creatures, symbolized entirely as they would have been in the Ancient religion, _just as the Gods had told them_.

Li'nau was an incredibly powerful, full-fledged warrior at this time, a one man army that had been readying himself to join the Zealots of Ai Shi'lau. His strength was far above that of any average Ancient, he wasn't even sure of his own limit, and was hoping to find it in the ranks of the Ancient Zealots. However, the attack had been a complete surprise to the city, the once majestic capital was thrown into ruins, only the center of the city remained untouched. The Zealots were pouring out of their stations as fast as their legs could carry them. They were the first to hit the frontlines, as well as the first to die. Many had perished, for when Li'nau had arrived on the battlefield, all he could do by himself was slow the attack.

All his comrades were already dead.

The center of the city was guarded by a defensive mechanism that was nearly as old as the race itself. The horde was ripped apart in beams of energy that had always been described as 'The Wrath of the Gods.' The battle had been won, yet with horrible losses, and it seemed as though the Gods were to be thanked again.

However, Li'nau had lost his memory.

Somehow, during the battle, a creature had managed to land a critical blow to his head, and he was thrown into a pile of rubble, where he managed to remain unseen, in his sleeping state. When he awoke, and returned to the city, he re-discovered his people, and their principles. Now that he was without his undying faith for them, he began to openly question the Gods. Asked them why they had let the beasts attack. How they could be all knowing if their only answer was "We did not know this would happen." He had feigned belief in them, biding his time, trying to understand this world, until his memory would return. And when it did, he had learned of something that had caused him to lose all belief in the Gods.

His entirely family was dead.

His wife had been ripped apart by the creatures, whilst she helplessly clutched her 11 year old daughter in her arms. His son, even younger then his daughter, had been hiding in a building, where Li'nau's older brother, the boy's own uncle, murdered him. The decision had become final. He had lost all faith.

The Gods were fake.

He refused to accept their existence. And began to chase his brother, whilst also scouring the globe for the dark demons that had slain the rest of his family, trying to at least seek out his family's vengeance, before he let his spirit break down and die, so that he could join them.

It was during his search that he discovered latent energies in his body. Psionic abilities that he did not know he had come to posses. It was also interesting that his psionic abilities always sparked the same sort of energy in others of his race. Yet the most intriguing thing about this little quirk was that it resembled an energy he had seen before. One that he was quite familiar with, one that was used over and over again in his world.

The Light of the Gods.

Wondering of what this could mean, he visited a smaller city not too far from his own home, where the greatest temples had been built. Although he had been disgusted by the place, this was his only lead, and he had come to ask the Gods of the truth, hoping to an entity greater than these false deities that they would tell him the truth. And they did, but it came with a cost.

The entire city was burned to the ground.

A 'Divine Being' visited Li'nau in the city, to tell him that it was true. The Gods were false, this entire catastrophe was their doing, from the creation of their religion, to the siege of Ai Shi'lau, it was all for their cause. But he knew too much, they said. This information could not be passed on, they said. At the cost of his enlightenment, Li'nau would have to give his life.

The Angel had wrecked everything, but Li'nau had survived again. For whatever the reason was, the so-called 'Wrath of the Gods' could not harm him. Li'nau used his abilities to strike down the Angel, showing for the first time, a true hatred for the Gods. Although there was still one problem. He knew the Gods were the ones causing all this chaos and destruction…

Yet, he didn't know why.

For the time being, Li'nau had put his brother aside, focusing on his rebellion against the Gods. His companions, who had been at his side since the siege of Ai Shi'lau, had half-heartedly been forced to return to the city. The Angel that Li'nau had killed was the one who had been ruling over Ai Shi'lau, and now with him gone, there was no one to manage the city.

Li'nau's companions, Sai and Osu, were higher ranked officials in whatever remained of the Order of the Templar, the home of Ancient Zealots. The Order had now become more of a military organization, rather then a warrior following, and religious enforcement. They took on the roll of defending the city and managing whatever they could.

Whilst this was going on, Li'nau had encountered his brother, to his immense distaste. Before assaulting his older brother, Li'nau wanted to know just _why_ he had killed his own _nephew_, Li'nau's **_only_** son. He had replied by saying he had to do it to save the child's soul. He said that if he had not killed the boy when he did, the Gods would have taken his soul, and used it to strengthen them. Just as they used his wife and daughter, and just as they would have used Li'nau.

Li'nau had nearly reached his limit, he was about to kill his brother. What shocked him most that his brother accepted it. His brother accepted his sin, and held nothing against Li'nau's bloodlust. Li'nau had pondered this over and over again, away from his brother. Finally, he returned to his brother's abode, and asked if he knew of the Gods' treachery. And he had.

He had known ever since he was born.

Yet, never had he voiced his opinion, for he knew the consequence. Heresy was awarded with death. So he kept silent, knowing there was nothing he could do. Then, the siege came. This was his only chance to run, so he did. His brother no longer held his old name, for his race had branded him with a new one.

_Shi'tanni_, The Lost One.

To his people, he had finally become the very thing he was trying to avoid. A Heretic.

Now that Li'nau knew the truth, he and Shi'tanni discussed all that they knew. Apparently, in his years of hiding, Shi'tanni had been researching the latent energies of a trio of crystals he had found hidden in temples and tombs across the lands. They represented 3 types of energy. A pitch-black Dark energy, a white colored Light energy, and the chaotic form of blue Psionic Energy. The Dark and Light Crystals did nothing when put near each other, but each crystal glowed brightly when put near the already-glowing Psionic Crystal, although the Psionic Crystal slowly dimmed until it also ceased to glow, after which, the crystal near it followed suite. And when they were brought together, they all ceased to glow immediately, even the Psionic Crystal.

Li'nau finally understood. Thanks to his brother's notes, the intense discussions they had about each other's experiences, and the very lives that they had both come to regret, both Li'nau and Shi'tanni had finally learned the truth behind truths.

They were being harvested.

His entire race was worshipping creatures that sucked their own powers away from them, controlling their lives, stealing their natural born gifts, conning them into believing they were making it alright.

Li'nau was now filled with extreme disgust and a typhoon of anger that swelled in his very aura. He would slaughter them. He would slaughter them all. No false God would be left standing.

Li'nau had prepared a plan, one Shi'tanni was against, but regretfully accepted as the last option. They had traveled to one of the last remaining Cults of Chaos. There, they asked the cult master to kill Li'nau upon the shrine of Chaos. This was the only way, the very last option.

In order to defeat the forces of Heaven, Li'nau would have to command the armies of Hell.

When Li'nau's life had been ceased, his soul emerged from his body. And his was easily ten times the size and strength of any average man's. You see, whenever an Ancient died, a mass of blue energy was released from their body, and usually flowed into whatever shrine was nearby. If there were no shrines, it would go wherever it felt attracted to, and if it felt no need to move, then it would dispense into the earth where it had died.

However, Li'nau's soul was unique. He had retained some form of existence whilst he was a puff of energy, and in this state, he confronted the Lord of Devils, the Ruler of Hell, _Ri'Kashi_. Yet, what he came across was… unexpected.

He was expecting a horrid monster. He was expecting a twisted creation that had fallen from all forms of grace. What he found was an Angel.

An Angel with broken wings.

Ri'Kashi was an outcast of the self-proclaimed Gods. It was explained to Li'nau that the kind hearted being had felt sympathy for Li'nau's people, had seen how they were herded like lost lambs, and had their energy sucked from their bodies as they went about their everyday life, depending on the very thing that was killing off their ability to thrive. He wanted to set them free.

But, as all things were, the other Gods did not agree. They did not kill him, for that would give birth to a martyr. They felt that it would be better to torture him, twist his image towards the populace into the very thing that he had also been trying to avoid becoming.

Ri'Kashi went on and explained how the energy was drained from the Ancients' souls. The shrines they had built for their 'Gods' long ago were made with specific designs, handed down from the Gods themselves. At the core of each shrine, a gigantic crystal charged with Light energy would be placed, and various smaller crystals would be placed around Temples, should the shrine be built in one. With such a large pull radiating from so many shrines located across entire cities, it was no wonder that the energy was drained so easily.

But it was not enough, Ri'Kashi said. The 'Gods' had grown too powerful, they were beginning to run low on energy, and if they did not act quickly, their weakness would show, and Ri'Kashi would have a chance to strike. So they did the only thing that could have sucked up enough energy to keep them strong for a while. A mass killing. They created the horde of Darkness. They sent it upon their own followers, so that the corpses of the dead would release all of the psionic energies in their bodies. Doing this would grant them a centuries worth of energy from just that one city, so that they could go on as Immortals. So that they could continue to be 'Gods.'

Ri'Kashi would have attacked long ago, but he had few followers, few who would donate their strength to him, few who chose Hell over 'Heaven,' few who knew the _truth_. While he retained enough followers to survive, he was still weak. That was when Li'nau offered his services. He asked Ri'Kashi to re-generate his body, so that he could lead whatever forces there were left in Hell in an attack against the Gods. Ri'Kashi admitted that he had been watching Li'nau, and hoping that he would come to this decision, however, he also warned Li'nau that beneath all truths lies a single genuine truth, the only one Ri'Kashi's kind has ever known for sure, and that once he has learned it, Li'nau will have to use his gifts to take responsibility for this truth and all its repercussions.

Unsure, but not unwilling, Li'nau acknowledged the warning, and readied himself to be returned to life. His body was back, just as wished, though he was still in Hell. Ri'Kashi handed him a specially crafted sword that was surging with Dark energy. Ri'Kashi told him that the only way he could gain any sort of strength, was to kill. The sword would take whatever energy lingered around it, and would send it to the well in Hell. This was the only way the forces of Hell could strengthen, the only way he could strike back. And he was prepared to sacrifice his own soul to do it.

And thus, he was transported back to the living world, or more specifically, the surface of the planet. Apparently, Hell was just a huge carving under the planet's surface, something that had rather surprised him, for this was not explained in the texts of his religion. Then again, trusting those would be idiocy, he reminded himself.

But he continued on. Reuniting with his older brother, Li'nau and Shi'tanni assaulted Heaven. Every foe that was slashed down by the duo was collected by Li'nau's sword and sent to the underworld, where it would have to be put to temporary use before being released after the fight was all over, be it success or defeat.

With his newfound strength, Ri'Kashi summoned as many demons as he could, generating the most feral of beasts possible, and sending them off to Heaven. The future looked bright; Li'nau commanded his forces strategically with great prowess and much gusto. However, he did not command from the rear, on the contrary, he was way ahead of all of his troops, shouting out commands from the front lines, leading as a true leader should. They had torn through many of the angels, when finally, Li'nau had reached 2 gigantic chamber doors. He gave command of the armies to his brother, having him finish up, so that Li'nau could proceed to confront the Gods on their home ground. What he found came as another shock to him.

Machinery. Bio-engineering facilities. Genetic samples. Test tubes, cloning facilities, DNA samples, a bio-engineer's dream world. It was here that he had learned the truth of all truths. The Gods were just a tiny group of survivors from another race, technologically advanced, and possessing genetic strains from various other races across the Universe, a universe that had once existed before the one they currently lived in now. It was explained to Li'nau, that after a certain period of time, a very long period, that is, the Universe implodes on itself; slowly, but surely. For in the center, a great black hole is located, incredibly humongous, and it is around this that all the bodies of space circle around. Once enough matter reaches the center and enters the singularity, however, the force of the matter contained in the black hole becomes too strong to hold, and it explodes, letting out a huge flash of light, and sending energy rocketing outwards in all directions, where it forms into matter, and re-establishes the Universe. This event is called "The Cataclysm," and it has happened many times before. No one has ever been sure what really began the universe, or if there even was a beginning, but this event has happened many times already, and so many have simply given up.

The Gods, however, chose to use this new world to their advantage. They created a race that they could harvest energy from, a race that would allow them to live forever, and because of their technological advancements, they could enhance themselves as well, to appear as Gods. The genetic enhancements granted them incredible energy manipulation abilities, and thus, they could perform actions that were first believed to only be possible through nature. And to enforce their existence, they created 'Angels,' clones that were engineered to be weaker than their predecessors, but stronger than Ancients, and just as loyal.

However, there was one small thing that backfired in their plans. One of the clumsier 'Gods' had, in his ignorance, accidentally dumped a complete combination of all the possible manipulation genes into one family strain. The combination, a possible but extremely chaotic and risky genetic formula, was originally headed for the waste dump, the Gods' way of hiding the evidence and decreasing the risk of their lambs striking back, should the Ancients ever evolve beyond their masters' wishes. The extremely rare gene had run through Li'nau's family line for many millennia until finally, he, _The Accident_, was born.

Finally, Li'nau understood everything. Finally, he understood what responsibilities he had to take over, what he was meant to do all along. Surviving through the next Cataclysm… it all depended on his genes, his _Accident_. That was why he was here.

It was time. He had nearly charged into the group of Gods, without a second thought, when they had once again poked at his weakness. There stood in front of him, the very things he had ever truly been fighting for all along, there they stood, right next to the Gods, smiling.

His wife and daughter were holding hands with the Monsters that had mercilessly slaughtered them.

'Join us,' they said. 'Come, Father. Come, Dear, Come,' they said, luring him in closer and closer. He had almost fallen for the trick, when one last line from his wife reminded him just why he was out slaying these Monsters.

"Come Dear, join us! Come, be happy, the _Gods_ are our _Friends_."

This was not his wife. That little girl was not his daughter. No, they had both died, their souls had been sucked into the grasp of the Monsters, they were no longer who they used to be.

With a howl filled with pure rage, Li'nau unleashed the fiercest round of Psionic energy he had ever let out before. It drained him of everything, but it was exactly what he needed. The Gods, though genetically enhanced, were no match compared to the legendary figure before them.

The war was over, the Ancients had won. But in the end, Li'nau had to kill the very people he was out fighting for. In the end, the Gods had still cursed him, and they would still haunt him, just as always.

After the war, Li'nau and Shi'tanni returned to their home. Shi'tanni's name was cleared and everything was explained to the rest of their Ancient kin. All the Shrines that had ever existed were razed, and Li'nau's race thrived. Li'nau, somehow, was appointed leader. Under his leadership, there came to be a society formed to help prevent damage caused by the Cataclysm.

Members of this society were known as the 'Kais.'

As time went on, those who had found that they had the ability to manipulate energy were dubbed as 'Channelers.' As for Li'nau, he knew that no matter how much energy he recycled, and no matter how much he slowed his body decay, he could not run from death. So he decided to make the ultimate sacrifice. During a time where the technology of the ancient race was one again incredibly advanced, Li'nau and his team of Scientist-Channelers developed a special gem. One that could store enough energy to out-do a decent-sized black hole. Afterwards, the gem would be placed in a socket on the hilt of a blade from the strongest known material in the universe, Kashin. Then, before his death, Li'nau would transfer all his energy manipulating knowledge into the gem, so that it would not be lost in the future for those who would really need it.

In the end, when the society had finally been created and more or less full-functional, Li'nau had been given the title 'Link,' for he wasn't just a Channeler. His abilities linked everything in existence together, and for this reason, he had been dubbed 'The Link.' More then that, he was the first 'Perfect' Link ever. Others that came after him did not have all the gifts he did. The second perfect Link was a man named Felix S. Telzir, whom had been selected as Link after the 7th known Cataclysm, during a time when the Otherworld dimension had been established.

The Link's responsibility revolves around 3 things. Keeping the existence of the world in-tact, making sure that enough of a race survives to continue on in the next world, and ensuring that knowledge and history from past races is recorded, so that one can continue to learn what the world is made of.

The recent most-likely candidate for the next Link was a young demi saiya-jin boy by the name of Son Goten, who had been hand-picked by Felix S. Telzir himself, and his assistant and former associate, a woman named Genesis. Recently, Goten was sent on his 4th mission to establish alliances with other worlds, where the residents of Otherworld could run to, incase their plans to survive the Cataclysm seemed likely to fail. There was another problem, however.

He had not been heard from in 6 months.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

(A/N: 'Nuff with the history crap, lets return to the some-what funny story!)

A man stood in an elevator, clad in a blue suit, holding a briefcase. His face was pale, wrinkles around every corner. His eyes were an eerie tint of green, and he was frowning. As the elevator came to a halt, this man took a few steps out of the now open sliding doors, and made his way across a dark hallway that looked as eerie as he did.

Finally, reaching what looked like a conference room, he stood next to a glass wall, watching the teleportation center that was situated on the other side. He was just on time, as always, to see his guests stepping out of a glowing green ball of light, with an inner yellow glow. A man with black, spiky hair that stood up and pointed back, with a few bangs going down the front of his face. His eyes were also black, and he was wearing an odd set of clothing. Decorating his leather jacket was the symbol of a modified cross, with 2 ends under it, rather then one, both pointing out diagonally in the opposite direction of one another. The cross also adorned 2 pairs of wings, a set of angel wings, and a set of devil wings. He also adorned a pair of black jeans.

Accompanying him was a lavender haired boy with blue eyes, who had on similar apparel, except his jacket was blue, and he wore blue jeans. And next to him was a woman with dark violet hair, and emerald green eyes. She was wearing a white robed cloak of sorts, and had it wrapped around her body, obscuring anything from detail. If anything, the man in the suit could say she was a bit jumpy.

Down in the other room, a rather odd scene was taking place.

"So tell me again, why the hell you had to bring that huge-ass robe of yours, Genesis?" The black spiky haired man spoke.

"I thought you remembered, Felix. This is the first time I've left home since…since…oh, God, the memories…"

"Since what, Gen?" Felix asked, a bit concerned.

"Since… since…" she hugged herself a bit, trying to support herself from the horrid memories "Since _Gohan…_" the named, followed with a shudder, instantly caused her friends to remember the strange and rather disturbing incident. Genesis had almost gotten a bit teary-eyed, even the mentioning of the word bringing back unwanted memories…

"Oh… oh wow. Does it still affect you?"

"_Yes! _Yes, of course it does! He scarred me for life, Felix! You hear me? Life! That's why I have this robe on…" she sobbed "I don't want a single man to ever touch me again! You hear me? Never EVER again!" She sobered up a bit after that last part.

To her right, Trunks sighed and shook his head in disappointment. "That's too bad. Oh the dreams I've had to get to touch a body like that…" Trunks never seemed to have learned what it meant to let others know _too much_.

"Actually, he's right. You know, you're looking much more curvier than usual, Gen. Especially your _ass_, I mean, Geez! That thing is just sticking itself out there! It's like it wants to be touched, so round, so soft, so alluring… so…" he paused for a sec, then turned to his companions "Am I the only one having an odd sense of déjà vu here?" No replies were heard, for Felix's Gohan-inspired trance had somehow returned Genesis to one of the more frightening moments in her life, and all huddled up in a corner, shivering, with Trunks trying to comfort her while also unsuccessfully attempting to score points with her. "Aw geez…"

"Hey, that reminds me Felix, how exactly _did_ you know Genesis's ass was soft?" Trunks questioned him with a suspicious tone. For a moment, Felix was rather discomforted.

"I, uh, well, you know, assuming she's…and naturally, well, she's just looks… and squishy you know, and…well, its just the idea that got me thinking…hey, wait a sec! How did _you _know her ass was soft?"

"Right… So, this conversation never happened?"

"Agreed." Luckily, by this time, Genesis had gathered up her wits and was ready to face the world again, albeit with shaky legs and the support of the wall of course. It was a good thing too, because the reason they had even come here was making his way out of the doorway in front of them.

"So I see you have gotten… _comfortable_." his voice had an odd tone to it, almost as if he had a speech impediment. Some parts of his speech were slightly higher pitched, while others lower pitched, some words were quickened, others were slowed, even when it was not necessary to make any sort of emphasis whatsoever.

Trunks frowned a bit at the statement "Well, I wouldn't exactly use the term comfortable…"

"No matter, it is time we got down to… _business_." Again with the god-damn speech impediment! "You must be Mr. Briefs, is that right?" Trunks nodded "And this woman with you…_Genesis,_ correct?" the man nearly hissed her name, but even with her disgust in the way he said her name, she nodded nonetheless "And you… the one with the black hair…_Mr. Telzir_, correct?"

Felix nodded, prepared to greet the man with a hand shake and some small talk "That's right, Mr. Fucker! I'm Fe-Oop!" Felix covered his mouth the moment he realized what he had just said.

"…_Mr. Telzir?_"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Fucker! I don't know what came over me! Really, Mr. Fucker, I'm sorry! I don't mean it that way; the words just keep coming out! Wait, Stop Mr. Fucker! Sto-Oop!" This time, Trunks clasped a hand over Felix's mouth, shutting him up.

"Oh no… I knew she would do something, but I didn't think she'd resort to this…"

Genesis, though still trying to sort out the situation and convince the blue-suited man that everything was alright and Felix truly didn't have any control over his actions, managed a quick question "What? Who and Why?"

"Pan. Last year, during her birthday party, Me, Goten and Felix went over to visit. During the party, Felix _accidentally_ slammed into the table the cake was on while Pan was standing in front of it. Needless to say, the cake practically rocketed off the table and slammed into Pan. It was a huge thing, ya know. Covered her entire face and upper body. It's too bad really, I would have liked to lick it off, that 13 year old body of hers is surprisingly…"

"Alright, stop! I don't want to hear the rest of _that_ train of thought… ugh"

"Right, sorry. Anyway, after that incident, she was pissed beyond belief. Started developing an interest in Baba's magic. Went searching through her archives, looking for a way to get revenge. I knew she was planning something bad, but to do it to him here and now? She's got guts, if she really decided to pull off _this_ stunt."

"I see. Perhaps we should discuss this… _some other time._" There it was again. The speech impediment. God, it really did annoy him. Felix felt like ripping the man's face off and using it to wipe the floor clean. His fists clenched, no way was he scheduling another meeting! Everything had been messed up enough already as it was. He wasn't going to leave anytime soon. Sensing his anger and remembering what horrible things could happen when Felix was mad, Genesis decided to take action.

"Um, actually, Mr. G-man, sir, we could still continue the meeting, just without Felix." to this, Felix frowned.

"I… _suppose_. Very well, you have been given another chance."

"That's great, Mr. Fucker. Please accept my deepest apologies for my actions." Felix, who had somehow managed to break free of Trunk's hold over him, had stepped forward to try and make up for his mess-up.

Unfortunately, this didn't go quite as planned. The G-man looked as enthusiastic as an overweight kitten that'd just been told to move. And as we all should know, telling just about any cat to move was a rather idiotic notion, as most would just sit there and stare at you as if to ponder if you had a functional brain, coughing up long overdue hairballs at the same time.. And while the G-man was not coughing up hairballs at the moment, "I'll _accept them_ with as much pleasure as I had when you I had to listen to you _insult_ me, _Mr. Telzir_" He was certainly questioning the functionality of Felix's brain. Noticing this, Felix retaliated.

"Well then I suppose your pants have gotten really wet from that verbal arousal, right _Mr. Fucker?_" The last two words were intentional, of course. The G-man frowned with disgust. The situation had gotten much worse in a matter of moments, and sadly enough, Gen and Trunks were helpless to stop it, for G-man struck back, with more of a disgusted tone than an actual insult "You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

But Felix's response was a bit more unconventional… "Actually, I've gone so far as to kiss my assistant with this mouth," At the mention of this, Gen blushed "but that's beside the point."

"Waitwaitwait! Hold the phone for one damn second! _You_ kissed _Gen?_"

"On the lips, actually…" Felix responded as though everything was still normal. Gen, however, was transforming into a human tomato.

"What the hell! Why didn't you tell me about this!"

"We're getting off the subject, Trunks."

"Screw the fucking subject!" at the mention of the words 'screw' and 'fucking,' Genesis blushed even more, in fact, she was beginning to wonder if her cheeks could take all the pressure. "This is big news! You two have been making out! Hell, even _I_ haven't gotten to fondle the girl yet, and here you are, having already pressed lips with the girl! I mean, _really!_ Romance before Sex, _who would have that thought_?... Unless…wait, you two haven't already gotten down and done the funky-chicken dance, have you? Oh God, this is even bigger news! When can I expect the baby? You're not even _married_! Oh wow, just wait till Mom n Mrs. Son here about this! Planning the wedding is going to be so much fun, Tee-hee! I feel so warm and tingly inside thinking about it that I could just let myself wiz all over this place, oh that would be so cool and…"

As Trunks went on with his disturbing monologue, Felix's face twisted in horror as he realized that the G-man and Genesis would probably leave Trunks out here too, leaving Felix to soon question his sanity, possibly even his sexuality if Trunks ended up loosing control of himself…

After a moment of blankly staring at Trunks in a disturbed stupor, she quickly turned towards the equally disturbed G-man, shaking her head as if to try and shake away the urge to vomit that Trunks had so skillfully instilled in her. "I suppose I'm going to be the only one entering that meeting with you, sir?"

"If I can _retain_ what's left of my _sanity_ until then, then yes, I suppose you will." Genesis sighed. She doubted sanity was even an option when you lived with someone like Felix.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Ah, I see that they've arrived. That's good. Hopefully, we might be able to get a lead on our lost-cause of a savior." Said a purple skinned Kai clad in godly apparel, while trying to appear optimistic, though failing horribly. Moving his left hand to a small button on the earphone of the one-sided walky-talky headset, Shin spoke "Kibito, please come to my office. It's urgent, over."

About 5 feet away from him, standing on plain green grass, situated on the edge of a cliff, Kibito turned around to look at his master as if he'd grown a second head, possibly even a third. He sighed, even if his master was an eccentric fanboy that ended up with a different obsession every couple of months, he was still _his_ master, and he would have to put up with every ridiculous whim that sprouted out of that intellectually questionable brain of his. Pressing the little black invisible button on _his_ headset, he responded in an exasperated reply "Affirmative, Master Shin, over."

Again, Shin pressed the button. "Ah, glad you could make it, Kibito. I was worried that _they_ might have gotten to you, over."

"Erm, no need to worry, sir. I was too, uh, too quick for them, yeah…. It was almost like I was, uh, already here… over."

Finger on the button again, what a good relationship they had… "Affirmative Kibito. Come, join me here in my office." And Kibito did as told. "Now Kibito, we've got to recap on the situation, understand? Over."

"10-4, Master Shin. But, why? We _already_ _know_ what's going o–" He was cut off by the clasping of Shin's hand over Kibito's mouth.

"Be quiet, you fool! Can't you see they can hear us with our headsets on? No doubt they're suspicious…" Taking off the headset, Kibito looked at Shin oddly.

"But sir, why did we have them on in the first place?"

"To keep them convinced, you buffoon! Those damned conspirators are _everywhere_, we have to make it all look pretty for them! And if they get _too_ suspicious…. If we end up getting caught in a secret meeting…whilst hiding, away from the public eye… they would truly think we were talking about classified information… so in a worst-case scenario like that, we'll have to be prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to preserve this organization…"

"Sir?"

"Kibito, my good man… I'm not exactly going to enjoy saying this, but… Have you ever felt like being a homosexual?"

Kibito's eyes had bulged out, and his jaw promptly found it's way to the ground "SIR!"

"It won't be easy… and it won't be fun… but by the end of the week, we may have to learn how to be gay, my dear friend. It is the only valid excuse we could come up with. Why else do you think there are so many political sex scandals? How LUCKY of them to be caught doing THAT when they could have _just as easily_ been plotting _world_ **domination**, wouldn't you say? These _conspirators_… they're very cunning… but they can't do a thing without a proper reason… and there is no greater weapon of defense to use against them then the very one they created! GAY SEX SCANDALS!" Shin yelled out, triumphantly. "That's right, you fools! Just try and catch us, we'll be at each other's butts before you can lay one of your filthy conspiring hands on us! Right, Kibito? …Kibito?" Shin looked a bit disappointed to see his partner in crime fleeing from the scene. Sighing, he went back to his spot on the cliff, and stared across the wide open plains.

"Dende was right…" He thought "I need a girlfriend…"

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"_Phew… I think I lost him_" Kibito had run as fast as his large bulky legs could carry him. In all utmost honesty, he knew his master was a nut case, but _really!_ Gay sex? What was the man thinking! "_What could have possibly happened to make Master Shin act this way? Looks like I'll have to recap anyway…"_

Right-O.

First, back when Son Goten had first arrived in Otherworld at the Purgatory level to be trained in some unimportant Combat Academy, Kibito didn't like to concern himself with the lower ranked officials, Master Shin was still in his Star Wars phase. It had been a just your average, not-too-freaky line of obsessions from there on, Godzilla, King Kong, Donkey Kong, Mario, Austin Powers, a brief Jennifer Lopez fetish, that whole Bruce Willis thing, and then there were those wonderfully vivid dreams Shin had had of him and various beautiful women in rather…intimate moments with him. Sometimes Kibito had been lucky enough to stumble into those dreams…

"_Ack! Get back to the issue, you idiot!_"

All in all, they were relatively normal weird-outs, for Shin that is. But the time when this whole "conspirator" thing started was back when Goten had left them on his last known mission. When they had lost contact with him, Shin immediately suspected foul play. It was subtle enough, at first. Just simple interrogations, a little investigative detective work. It was almost like he was _actually working!_ But alas, that was not the case. After a couple of weeks, he had gotten so into it that the current Supreme Kai had developed another obsession. Each day, he would come down to King Yemma's office and accuse him of being the one who had rigged Goten's mission. He said it had something to do with chewed up pencils, edible mouthwash, and poison-tipped eraser shavings.

Kibito had honestly considered quitting his job back around that time. Until he realized that his job as the Kai's servant was more like his life sentence as the Kai's slave. He could not quit it, sadly enough. He would have to live with this insane moron until the day he died. Or Shin died. He was more pleased with the second possible outcome.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Down on Earth, the Son home was full of chaos. Carrots, mushrooms, eggs, apples, oranges, drum sticks, fish, even a few snack bars were being flung across the kitchen. Tien and Yamcha had been asked to look after the house while Goku, Chi Chi, Gohan and Videl visited one of Hercule's beach houses for a summer-time vacation. It had seemed like a good idea to trust the house to a couple of friends that had been around since before Gohan was born…

A watermelon crashed on top of Yamcha's head. **His defenses had been breached**! _How_ could he have _missed it?_

Not all ideas are as good as they sounded, though. Yamcha re-stacked the pot's and pans he had been using as a wall, grabbing Chi Chi's treasured _Frying Pan_ of **DOOM**, feeling a chill run up and down his spine as he held the unholy object in his hands. He may have had to sacrifice a part of his soul to the harpy's cruel weapon of destruction to survive, but there was no other choice. He couldn't allow Tien to win this war! _Especially_ not after he bet his _girlfriend_ on it!

On the other side of the grocery stained battleground, Tien and his clones were making good timing, with one Tien sending salvos through the center, one flanking from the right with a trio of Tomato catapults, and another flanking Yamcha's left, wielding mighty French bread sticks and burnt biscuits. The war would be won soon, Yamcha's girlfriend would soon be his… Oh yes, _yes she would._

As the men with the extra eyes stepped closer and closer, making their ominous presence painfully clear, they slowly tilted their bodies over the shoddy stainless steel barricade, the bread-bearing Tien in front.

Unbeknownst to the trio, Yamcha was laying flat against the barricade, wielding the pan in hand. When all 3 heads tilted over, Yamcha's arms flung the frying pan in an arch, hitting the head of each of the bald men. The searing pain that had shot into their jaws, cheeks, and nose for the bread-bearing Tien, had caused them to loose focus long enough for Yamcha to pelt them with their own rotten tomatoes.

As Yamcha's foes fell to the ground, bathed in their own munitions, the victor hopped over his make-shift defenses and slowly crept over to the fallen triclopses. Smirking in triumph, he decided to rub in his victory a bit more, literally. Grinding a few of the rotten tomatoes into the faces of the Tiens, Yamcha grinned as they coughed and blew tomato juice out of their noses. One of them actually blew out half a jalapeno pepper, to the dark haired man's amazement.

"Unn…" the shiny-headed man in the center of the trio began to groan and slowly stand up.

"I win" Yamcha had an obnoxious grin on "So my girlfriend stays with me, and your ass belongs to Vegeta for…a month, was it? I think I'll visit and see how you're doing often, Tien… to see how… _creative_ Vegeta can be… Mwuahahahaha!" Yamcha's evil laugh rang clear as all 3 Tiens groaned thrice as hard.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The Son family was enjoying their stay at the luxurious Satan Beach house, Chi Chi especially. Well, most of them were anyway. Gohan was troubled once more. Why? He did not know. But it was there, the troubled feeling was there. He had suspected that it was because he may have been losing interest in his wife. After all, the sex was great, but boobs were about all Videl really had to offer…

Instead, he had begun thinking back towards a moment in his past, when he had met a woman that was beyond his wildest dreams. A perfectly sculpted body, incredibly attractive face, a certain aura of 'cuteness,' a headstrong, but reasonable personality, and an easy-going attitude. She also seemed quite intelligent, and nearly as strong as him. And to boot, she was a Goddess. Hell, she was _his_ Goddess!

He remembered her name as if he had known it forever. "_Genesis…_"

Ah, the fond memories of how he had gotten to take hold of the forbidden fruit of a sex-goddess's body… even if it was for only one solitary moment, before reality came crashing down on him in the form of his mother's frying pan.

He sighed. Life was empty without her…

Inside the Beach House, Chi Chi and Goku had situated themselves in the kitchen, where both of them could perform their most-skilled arts. Chi Chi was making her husband something to keep his stomach satisfied, as it could never be full, which usually meant she was making extremely long subway sandwiches. As Goku proceeded to atomize a 20-footer, Chi Chi tried to strike up a conversation.

"Dear…have you noticed how odd Gohan has been acting recently?"

"Hmf? Oyuh! Hef faz saffing ifoo fafe" Goku gulped down the food that he had momentarily forgotten in his mouth in order to better respond to his wife "It was kinda like he was in deep thought… or he was trying really hard to find something on that lady's butt… who knows?"

Chi Chi pondered on that butt theory for a moment, but shrugged it off with an amused shake of the head. Completing another sandwich the length of an average sized living room, she walked over and took a seat by her husband, wiping a few crumbs off of his cheek with a napkin. Pausing to examine her husband for a moment, she remembered just how lucky she was to have a man like him at her side…

"Dear?"

"Yeah, Chi?"

"…You'll never leave me right?"

"Are you insane? With a wife like you, the kids that we have, and food like this! I'd be even more of an idiot if I did that!"

Chi Chi smiled, slightly teary eyed. "Oh, Goku… that was so sweet.."

"Yeah, it was! I'm surprised you put that much sugar into that last one, Chi… I think I'm hyper!" The glee in his voice could only be matched by the expression of sheer surprise on Chi Chi's face.

"Uh, dear…you're always hyper… all the time…"

"Oh yeah... Oh well!" And there went another sandwich that could have kept a man alive for more then a week…

Chi Chi just shook her head again with more hopeless amusement that the last time. She would never get tired of that man… But Gohan…he seemed to be getting tired of his wife. Chi Chi wondered what was on his mind? He had always been different ever since the day Goten had to leave them…

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Achoo!" Hero sneezed. "Oh no… don't tell me I caught cold from when.." '_I fell into the water..._' He frowned and scratched the back of his head. "Nah.. probably just some dust in the air, that's all." He was in the living room, sitting on the couch from before. A TV stood in front of him, its respective remote lying their on the table in front of him. So strange.. the objected beckoned for him to touch.. to _hold_ it..to _use _it… Hero felt rather confused.. how could such a small object hold such great power as to manipulate him into such things? He had no idea, but his concerns fell down the crap hole as soon as he grabbed hold of it. Somehow, he felt more complete… but even so, what should he do now? '_Oooh…a shiny green button.. I wonder what it does…_' The button clicked, and the television came to life. Unfortunately, the first thing to flash on screen was the thundering roar of Godzilla. Hero's eyes grew wide, his mouth fell open. He hopped over the couch and cowered behind it, flinging the remote away in fear. The object hit the wall, and clicked again. The channel changed, and on came a commercial.

"..Goldfish! _The snack smiles back_…" Hero looked at the screen in horror. Food that _smiles back_? What was wrong with these people! He turned to the little remote with malice. "Evil cur! How dare you set loose such horrors! Raaahhh!" He rushed at the object with all his might and crashed into the thing, doing more damage to the floor than his actual target. Hero wrestled with the little remote before realizing his efforts were futile. "Blasted monster! What is your shell made of! It's impenetrable!" Alas, even Hero's mighty strength could not fight through the remote's indestructible plastic carapace. "Wait a second.." he turned to the evil window of doom, that shined through images of horrors from the nether. It was currently displaying a talking green gecko. Hero swore he saw hell burning in the creatures beady little eyes. "Aha! So _that's_ your source of evil! Well, little beast, consider yourself dead!" With a mighty battle cry, Hero flung the control at the television set. The projectile sent the TV through the wall on impact. Hero pumped his fists in the air. "Yes! Good wins again!" Amachi walked in at that moment.

"Hero, how about you come to beach with us? We're going to..go…swi..ming……."

"Uh.. Amachi? Why are you looking at me like that? Wait, what're you gonna do with that lamp? Amachi? Amachi! Ahhh!" and they proceeded to run 'round the house, tearing apart wallpaper and knocking over many precious vases as they did so.

Down in the dark depths of his room, Manaka brought his palms before him, tapping his fingers together. "Soon… Soon, Amachi will feel my revenge… Sweet, sweet revenge… **_Muahahaha!_**" The maniacal laughter echoed throughout the house, causing shivers to be sent down many spines. Then, Aya walked in.

"Manaka-san? What are you doing?"

"Ah.. uhm.. er.. uh….. How… about.. we go out and get some ice cream?"

"Eh? ..Okay!"

'_Muahaha…soon, Amachi, soon…_'

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Yup. So, that's that. Hope you enjoyed that whopping ride of strangeness. It's gonna be the last update in a long time though, sorry. I'm focusing on my Warcraft III fic right now, called Wolven, check it out if you have the time.


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